Monday, December 3, 2012

Motivational Monday #74 - Sock Monkeys

Today my post will be a little more off the wall than usual.  (See that?  I just admitted my posts are off the wall, and not a single one of you contradicted me...) 

Today I am going to talk about the pros and cons of Sock Monkeys.  I bet you didn't know there are pros and cons, but there are...I promise.

First, a little back story.  This weekend my 'delightful' son was being a punk.  He was arguing, fighting, teasing and being genuinely disagreeable.  In a moment of exasperation I picked up the closest stuffed animal, which just happened to be a Sock Monkey, and declared that I was tired of having a mean child, and was henceforth adopting Sock Monkey as my loving and adorable firstborn.  The look of shock on my son's face was priceless. 

I then proceeded to itemize the virtues of having Sock Monkey be my child.  Here are a few of my favorites.
  1. Sock Monkey never yells at me.
  2. Sock monkey never calls his sister names.
  3. Sock Monkey never tells me the food I made was nasty.
  4. Sock Monkey always sits quietly and waits his turn.
  5. Sock Monkey always listens when others speak.
  6. Sock Monkey never messes up the house.
  7. Sock Monkey never drinks the end of the milk.
  8. Sock Monkey never lies.
  9. Sock Monkey never leaves wet towels on the floor.
  10. Sock Monkey never 'forgets' to do his homework.
Now in all fairness, Sock Monkey also has a few faults.  Namely:
  1. Sock Monkey never says please or thank you.
  2. Sock Monkey never cleans his room.
  3. Sock Monkey never answers when I ask him a question.
  4. Sock Monkey never tells me he enjoyed his meal.
  5. Sock Monkey never takes a shower.
  6. Sock Monkey never brushes his teeth.
  7. Sock Monkey never plans to leave home.
  8. Sock Monkey never practices the piano.
  9. Sock Monkey never feeds the dog.
  10. Sock Monkey never plans to get a job.
So as you can see, adopting Sock Monkey is not without its own set of problems.

My son isn't quite sure if we are serious about replacing him with Sock Monkey or not.  We have him mildly concerned, and the evil mom that I am, I am enjoying it.  In an attempt to be kinder than Sock Monkey, he gave me a compliment which is admittedly something Sock Monkey isn't very good at.

I guess my point is this, everything has two sides, even Sock Monkeys.  We don't always get exactly what we want, and that is true of Sock Monkeys and children.  If we want the cuddly and adorable side, we also have to take the grumpy and whiny side.  Right now I am doing my best to find the good parts of all my kids, including the newly adopted Sock Monkey.  Here's hoping I don't find out the Monkey snores!

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