The holidays are tough for me. I think I have mentioned I have a special needs child. While that can add a lot of spice to family life, it can also be a real challenge. The holiday season should just be renamed "The Season that Messes with Schedules." Between parties, late nights, gifts, relatives, big meals at odd hours and endless festive music and jingle bells, things can get dicey.I'm sure I'm not alone in that feeling. Many parenting blogs talk about the same thing, except they do it with a lot more humor and grace. I'll just tell you it is hard. What I think is interesting however, is that the holidays are a prime time for all the little things that we deal with each day to grow into huge problems. As parents we quickly learn that if we aren't "good" with our personal mountains and obstacles, we bleed over into our kid's peace and the whole household spirals into chaos.
Every one of us has a mountain in our lives. We likely have a whole bunch of hills surrounding that mountain as well. Each and every day we get up, strap on our lederhosen and start up the slopes. Some days we head out with great energy and purpose. Other days we scoot on our backsides a few inches and call it good. If you are like me, you have probably rolled down the hill a few times too.
Since December I have been identifying the mountains and hills I need to climb, and more importantly, the ones I don't. I have cleaned out closets and drawers. I have donated and disposed of numberless boxes and bags. I have reduced, reused, and recycled in every room. I have eliminated and purged. I have chopped down hills and smoothed out slopes. I have in essence leveled the playing field a bit.
Why, you might ask, did I decide to break into a crazy cleaning fest right at the holidays? Well, I've always been a little crazy, but besides that, I needed less. A lot less. You've heard the phase, you can't see the forest for the trees? Well, I could barely see the trees for the trees. In order to asses what was important, I needed to have less of everything.
Less is more. Who knew? Once I started getting rid of things, I realized just how much I own that I don't want or need. After it was gone I could look around my space and see just how much I appreciated what I have left. I could feel at peace.
Now I think we have established that I am an organizational nut, however I'm not sure if I have recently mentioned I don't believe organization is all in boxes and binders and systems. I think organization is also in heart, mind and spirit. You have to feel like you know what is going on in your life and be content. If you are constantly harried, frazzled and in chaos, it doesn't matter that your spice drawer is organized alphabetically.
So after all this time of soul searching, here are a few of the revelations I have had:
- Sometimes my best isn't as good as I had hoped, and that's okay. I am not actually required to do more than I'm able. I don't need to have the nicest/prettiest/coolest anything. I can give my best effort at that given time, and I'm done.
- A clean home means I have less to look at, and thus less to stress over. Now don't go getting ideas that I look like Donna Reed or June Cleaver. I have never in the past, nor will I ever vacuum while wearing heals and pearls. I have just found that putting things away and having clean/clear surfaces makes me calm. Thus it is an area to spend my effort.
- Blogging, while a great way to share my thoughts with the unknown universe, isn't essential. I remember when I first started the blog. I blogged 5 days a week. I scoured news feeds and looked for ways to tie in current events to emergency preparedness. I'm sure the content was fabulous, but I was stressed. I had images of a thriving blog that led to international acclaim and applause. (Oh wow, was I delusional...hehe.) I craved each new comment and every "like" on facebook. Now I am just glad when I see someone took a peek, and that's okay.
- I do too much. For those people reading this who fall into the "friends and family" category, I know you just laughed out loud. I am always taking on new things, but lately I have not. I guard my time and my ability to have quiet. Where once I wanted to be buzzing with activity, now I just want to have peace.
- My kids are important not solely because I love them, but because they make me a better person. This may fall into the "what took you so long" category as far as revelations go, but true. When I am calm and at peace with myself, I really enjoy being with my kids and experiencing life with them. When I am crazy and stressed it is hard to find joy in their amazement, wonder and awe.
So there you go, that's what I've been up to for the last few months. I have been organizing my life, simplifying my surroundings and infusing peace and calm into my existence. What have you been up to?
